{"id":3560,"date":"2026-07-04T17:35:17","date_gmt":"2026-07-04T17:35:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/relocationobserver.com\/?p=3560"},"modified":"2026-07-04T17:35:17","modified_gmt":"2026-07-04T17:35:17","slug":"how-taylor-swifts-wedding-puts-a-cap-on-her-20-years-of-writing-about-marriage-from-love-story-to-the-bitter-youre-losing-me-to-the-triumphant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/relocationobserver.com\/?p=3560","title":{"rendered":"How Taylor Swift\u2019s Wedding Puts a Cap on Her 20 Years of Writing About Marriage, From \u2018Love Story\u2019 to the Bitter \u2018You\u2019re Losing Me\u2019 to the Triumphant \u2018Eldest Daughter\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n\t\u201cI wouldn\u2019t marry me, either,\u201d Taylor Swift sang \u2014 bitterly, it\u2019s fair to say \u2014 just a few years ago. Remember when the world\u2019s biggest pop superstar was writing about how she had been deemed Not Marriage Material?<\/p>\n

Read more Maggie Gyllenhaal on Subverting Female Stereotypes and Why She Never Set Out to Break Taboos: \u2018I\u2019m Just Trying to Make Space for My Own Experience to Be Expressed\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

\n\tYou don\u2019t? Most people probably wouldn\u2019t. That particular line came in a heartbreaking but little-heard digital bonus track called \u201cYou\u2019re Losing Me,\u201d written in 2021 and released in 2023, that chronicled the desultory end of a long-time relationship\u2026 one that might have lasted, say, six years. She followed the lyric about marriage by referring to herself as \u201ca pathological people pleaser\u201d (sarcastically) \u201cwho only wanted you to see her\u201d (no sarcasm, there).<\/p>\n

\n\tThe weekend of Swift\u2019s wedding to Travis Kelce may not seem to everyone like the most appropriate occasion to dredge up the singer\u2019s deep tracks, especially the most depressing ones. But recalling songs like these actually goes some way toward explaining why Swift fans are so jubilant over the nuptials. While broadcast media are busy snipping bits of \u201cLove Story\u201d and \u201cPaper Rings\u201d to use as cheerful bumper music for their wedding updates, Swifties come into this honeymoon period remembering all the times over the last 20 years when she referenced not<\/em> tying a knot. In some songs she even seemed resigned to life having taken her in the opposite direction of a \u201cmarry me, Juliet\u201d ending.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\n\tFor anyone who has followed Swift\u2019s shifting attitudes toward matrimony as closely as they would a BFF\u2019s \u2014 or their own \u2014 this isn\u2019t some royal wedding, with all the corniness that entails, so much as a reaffirmation that personal dreams count as much as professional ones. Even if those dreams might be more challenging to achieve than a streak of 15 No. 1s. They\u2019re not just celebrating for her; they\u2019re whooping it up for themselves, or their pals, or anyone in their life who\u2019s had to grapple with the impossibility of work\/life balance or just felt seriously fucked by love.<\/p>\n

\n\tHer earliest references to matrimony in song were on the winsomely juvenile side, as you\u2019d expect from country-pop\u2019s own child bride. \u201cLove Story\u201d rewrote Shakespeare into a fairy tale because, at 17, why the hell not? The title track of \u201cSpeak Now\u201d imagined a \u201cGraduate\u201d-style interruption of vows, where a dumb wedding could be thwarted in time to take an unworthy bride\u2019s spot and, who knows, maybe even elope. The idea of getting passed over started looming like a cloud even in some of these early compositions, though, like \u201cFoolish One,\u201d where she wrote, \u201cI\u2019ll get your longing glances but she\u2019ll get your ring\u201d \u2014 maybe a pop songwriter\u2019s random line, or maybe a real human smart enough to steel herself a little for what life might or might not bring.<\/p>\n

\n\tThings got lighter, in that regard, before they got much, much darker, as at least some of her songs came to reflect long, mature, adult relationships. There was the \u201cLover\u201d album \u2014 the period us gossips and snoops can cavalierly refer to as Early Joe \u2014 when an optimism about affairs of the heart crept into her music. In the title track, she actually wrote freaking vows<\/em>\u2026 legally and spiritually nonbinding ones, but still! \u201cI take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover \/ My heart\u2019s been borrowed and yours has been blue\u2026 \/ Swear to be overdramatic and true.\u201d Dearly beloved, we were gathered there together in the sight of Jack Antonoff to join together this man and this woman in something that felt close enough to holy matrimony. \u201cI\u2019d marry you with paper rings,\u201d she cheerfully promised in another song, although maybe being willing to settle for that could have been taken as a sign a hard rock would not presently be entering the picture.<\/p>\n

\n\tHer attitudes about these things became harder to track during the pandemic albums, as she turned in \u201cFolklore\u201d and \u201cEvermore\u201d to either writing thinly disguised broadsides against her business antagonists or making up stories about intriguing characters\u2026 maybe because, for the domestic moment, fiction was stranger and more interesting than truth? \u201cThe wedding was charming, if a little gauche,\u201d she sang, not imagining her own, but describing the ceremony of the woman who long ago lived in her Rhode Island mansion, Rebekkah Harkness. (You just know someone will use that line to describe Swift\u2019s MSG extravaganza, after details get out, but let\u2019s not give anyone ideas.) A creeping sense of dread about marriage emerged out of the character studies, like \u201cIllicit Affairs,\u201d the aborted-engagement story \u201cChampagne Problems\u201d and the laceratingly sad \u201cTolerate It.\u201d Suddenly, in these fictional pieces, if not in anything obviously autobiographical, Marriageland sounded like the unhappiest place on earth.<\/p>\n

\n\tAnd then came the album that to me is still somewhat underrated, one of her best and certainly most intriguing-to-unpack collections of work to date: \u201cMidnights.\u201d Here, she asserted herself again as someone still in love, but also in long-term lust, who held the cards (or at least had designed the deck, in \u201cMastermind\u201d), and who proudly held herself as an independent woman who didn\u2019t need to be married to happily carry on. This isn\u2019t reading something into the music; she, like, says this repeatedly. \u201cHe wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame,\u201d she sings in \u201cMidnight Rain,\u201d and although it wasn\u2019t clear who she was referring to in that number, the message was clear \u2014 she was happy to be in a state of independence. The most telling passage about her mindset on the \u201cMidnights\u201d album was in the opening number, \u201cLavender Haze,\u201d which seemed to decry the ideal of marraige as a white-picket-fence fantasy that was the outside world\u2019s goal for her, not her own. \u201cI\u2019m damned if I do give a damn what people say\u2026 The 1950s shit they want from me\u2026 All they keep asking me is if I\u2019m gonna be your bride \/ The only kinda girl they see is a one-night or a wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tBut did the woman protest too much? Swift was presenting herself by now as living out a post-feminist ideal, carving out a longterm relationship on her own terms. But perhaps this was a self-pep talk, one that masked a darker reality, that the relationship was on life support. Only later would she have the nerve to release \u201cYou\u2019re Losing Me,\u201d a song describing that same relationship as a terminal case, complete with the \u201cI wouldn\u2019t marry me either\u201d lyric, and let the world know through clues in her social media that it was written in 2021, when she was dismissing the idea of being a wife as \u201c1950s shit.\u201d It wouldn\u2019t be the first time someone in maintenance mode on a long-term relationship was sending out mixed messages \u2014 to the world, and to herself.<\/p>\n

Read more Box Office: \u2018Minions & Monsters\u2019 Scares Up $16 Million on Friday<\/a><\/p>\n

\n\tThe clues in her lyrics suggest she put an end to what had become more of a situationship than a romance. At some point, when someone doesn\u2019t want to be seen with you in public, maybe you stop convincing yourself that\u2019s what you want, too, and you put the breaks on hiding away at \u201cThe Lakes\u201d as your ideal of how to be and stay in love. And so by the time of \u201cThe Tortured Poets Department,\u201d perhaps the most revealing album she ever wrote, she had already moved so far beyond the embers of the dead companionship relationship with the passive actor that most of this new record seemed to be about the quick rise and fall of a renewed infatuation with a bad boy. Taming the brat, while rubbing the nose of polite society in taking up with someone they disapproved of, was the theme of songs like \u201cBut Daddy, I Love Him,\u201d which openly reveled in the idea of exchanging vows with a rebel. \u201cI know he\u2019s crazy, but he\u2019s the one that I want,\u201d she sang of her apparent fling with a rocker who\u2019d inhabited her dreams through all those years of playing it safe \u2014 \u201cand no, you can\u2019t come to the wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tThere would be no wedding; other songs on \u201cThe Tortured Poets Department\u201d speak to being ghosted. It was to Swift\u2019s credit that she kept a hopeful song about that relationship like \u201cBut Daddy, I Love Him\u201d on the album, snuggled in amid all the breakup songs, as a reminder of the infatuation\u2019s happier days. (A great song is a great song, she knows, even if it\u2019s wildly personally outdated by the time it comes out.) The idea of matrimony and happily-ever-after recurs in \u201cTTPD,\u201d but mostly recounted in anger and a sense of lyrical recrimination. \u201cYou and I go from one kiss to gettin\u2019 married,\u201d she sings in \u201cloml\u201d (short for \u201clove of my life\u201d), seeming to recall how fast a romance went to flirtation to wedding talk amid the \u201crekindled flames\u201d of a love that\u2019d simmered on a back burner for years. \u201cIn your suit and tie, in the nick of time \/ You lowdown boy, you stand up guy,\u201d she said, fiercely, of chaneling all that post-\u201c1989\u201d energy into a 1975 guy. \u201cA con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme\u2026 You talked me under the table \/ Talking rings and talking cradles \/ I wish I could un-recall \/ How we almost had it all \/ Dancing phantoms on the terrace \/ Are they second-hand embarrassed \/ That I can\u2019t get out of bed?\u201d What exactly she meant by \u201cdancing phantoms\u201d is up to the whims of poetry, but in the context of all this \u201ctalking rings and cradles\u201d language, one couldn\u2019t help wondering if this was a way of describing the guests at a wedding that never was.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cThe Prophecy,\u201d the grimmest song she ever wrote about her experiences with love and romance, spoke in the literal terms of foreordained doom. Anyone who\u2019d been along for the ride on her nearly two-decade journey might\u2019ve thought about putting on a black veil, listening to a track that spoke for anyone who ever imagined predestination had deigned it was time to put a dream of that particular kind of personal happiness on a shelf.<\/p>\n

\n\tAnd then came the guy for whom she might have better been reserving the LOML acronym. (Although she\u2019d be the first to acknowledge and celebrate that, in art, there are no takebacks.) Travis Kelce came into her life at just the right moment to earn one happy outlier bonus track tacked onto the deluxe edition of \u201cTortured Poets\u201d (\u201cSo High School\u201d)\u2026 and that was surely the least of the ways in which \u201clove in the nick of time\u201d applied in this situation.<\/p>\n

\n\tCome \u201cThe Life of a Showgirl,\u201d she was renewing her vows with talking about marriage in an upbeat way. Key line, from the tender \u201cEldest Daughter\u201d: \u201cWhen I said I don\u2019t believe in marriage, that was a lie.\u201d That might have been Swift talking to Kelce, or it might\u2019ve been the singer literally addressing her audience, confessing that the attitude she\u2019d espoused in \u201cLavender Haze\u201d was just a front\u2026 Things got more playful, as she wrote in the openly erotic \u201cWood,\u201d \u201cGirls, I don\u2019t need to catch the bouquet \/ To know a hard rock is on the way.\u201d LOML, meet LOL. However you felt about Swift getting a little more mischievous and down and dirty as she extolled her new, true love, there was the sweetness of what may have counted as her first official wedding pledge, singing, \u201cI\u2019m never gonna break that vow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tMuch of the world is celebrating with T&T, as they identified themselves in their official wedding announcement Friday. And parts of Swift\u2019s fandom may also be a little disappointed, that she has embraced some of the aspects of being a traditional wife, after previously giving the finger to society\u2019s expectation that women have to fall into the proscribed roles of either \u201ca one-night or a wife.\u201d But clearly the marriage is no disavowal of the tenets of feminism by the woman who brought you \u201cThe Man.\u201d To employ the old cliche, it is a woman\u2019s prerogative to change her mind, and not least of all a feminist woman\u2019s prerecogative, as circumstances and desires change. If, in \u201cWish List,\u201d she sings about how Kelce \u201cgot me dreamin\u2019 \u2019bout a driveway with a basketball hoop,\u201d not to mention \u201ca best friend who I think is hot\u201d and \u201ca couple kids,\u201d it is not a dereliction of Girl Boss duty or an endorsement deal with the trad-wife moviement. It\u2019s a culmination of the intrinsic longing to connect with someone deeply she sang about at 16 and 17, even as she went on to conquer the world as someone who took no prisoners among men, whether they were ex-beaus or ex-label heads. The next few years may bring an interesting experiment in very publicly visible life\/work balance \u2014 a test tube like no other for Having It All.<\/p>\n

\n\tIf there should turn out to be any cracks in the fairy tale? You can be sure she\u2019ll write about it, given her historical, world-class-career-making inability to avoid just the right kind of lyrical oversharing. Being able to hold together an inevitably flawed relationship while candidly chronicling its stress points as well as triumphs, over a very long haul, might be the greatest storybook ending possible.<\/p>\n

Read more \u2018The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping\u2019 First Look Revealed in \u2018Meet Haymitch\u2019 Featurette<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Taylor Swift’s wedding is viewed by fans through the prism of two decades of her writing about marriage, with wildly different attitudes at times.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3559,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[1123,2419],"class_list":["post-3560","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-music","tag-taylor-swift-2","tag-travis-kelce"],"yoast_head":"\nHow Taylor Swift\u2019s Wedding Puts a Cap on Her 20 Years of Writing About Marriage, From \u2018Love Story\u2019 to the Bitter \u2018You\u2019re Losing Me\u2019 to the Triumphant \u2018Eldest Daughter\u2019 - Relocation Observer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/relocationobserver.com\/?p=3560\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Taylor Swift\u2019s Wedding Puts a Cap on Her 20 Years of Writing About Marriage, From \u2018Love Story\u2019 to the Bitter \u2018You\u2019re Losing Me\u2019 to the Triumphant \u2018Eldest Daughter\u2019 - 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